Monday, May 31, 2010

The Lambo Chronicles, Part 2

In the 1st post about Lambo, we mentioned that we've barely ever seen the dude eat anything. He generally just consumes Heineken. The logical outcome of drinking a lot of beer is that you go to the bathroom a bunch, no? Wrong. This is John freaking Lambert we're talking about. Not only does he apparently lack the need for food, but apparently doesn't ever need to pee.

Except for one notable exception.

Almost 2 years ago, we had the (moronically stupid, in retrospect) idea to host a music festival. Take out the fact that we could barely play our songs. Ignore the fact that we had to build a stage and support for tons of lights. Forget about the fact we lost almost 1k on expenses for food, booze, a generator and other such things that one needs to host a festival. Isn't it a bit grandiose to throw a festival that you headline at your second show ever? Yup, we think so too. Only we didn't realize that at the time.

Anyways, the day was a lot of work, and by the time we took the stage at 9ish, we were pretty pooped. We had the brilliant idea to start a glowstick war without the foresight that those glowsticks might end up getting thrown at us. Not entirely surprisingly, that's what happened. Jake and Will threw hissy fits, with the highlight being Will flipping off the crowd and hissing 'Thanks for killing the buzz guys'. Good times all around.

Why do we mention all this? Well, because this happens to be the 1st time that any of us experienced John going to the bathroom. And 'experienced' is the appropriate verb here. Because in the middle of our set, John turned from the soundboard and started peeing off the side of the stage. Apparently, he had been mixing all day and hadn't really left the stage, so the best opportunity to relieve himself was midway through our set since the sun had set. So there we were, rocking out to some song only to have our sound guy pissing right next to us with the entire crowd completely clueless about what's going on.

So to recap, not only does Lambo not eat, but he doesn't pee, except for when we're all sharing a stage. God we love this man.

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